Finding Your Self By Losing Your Identity

Deni Van here! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a spiritual teacher and transformation mentor.

The opportunity to give back just fills my heart and with so much energy and waves of emotions, I wanted to take some time and answer some questions that came up in our group- The Heartfelt Awakening Village.

One particular question came up today asking about Identification- specifically identifying with the body.  A lot of masters and teachers will talk about letting go of identity because our thoughts will go to the things that we THINK we are and away from who we really are.

The one thing I speak most often about is that we are 2 parts which create a whole. All of nature and physics show us that 2 things are required to make a whole. So as Human Beings we are also 2 parts- there’s the Human part of us- constant movement, constant change, never the same belongs to time.  And then there’s the Being, no movement, is nothing, expansive, stillness- everything comes from this- it’s nothing, and yet it’s the biggest, emptiest, most powerful part of you.

Sometimes it’s really difficult for the human mind to wrap itself around this perspective because the mind and thoughts are also part of this movement. The brain is a filter between our external and our internal world, since we are experiencing both worlds, there are 2 parts to become more and more aware of.

You really can’t put any words to what this experience is. I can only use metaphors or examples to what it is I’m trying to bring across. Once you find this, its very difficult to say “YES, this is it!” and then put what it is into words.
One example I love to use is the scale; the scale has 2 parts- the fulcrum and then the scales which are the moving parts. The moving part of the scale can equate to the body and the Human experience. The body is moving,  has a beginning, a duration of time and an end. The human body is moving and constantly changing. The part of you I want to guide you to is to the larger part of you. If you can sit and connect to this larger part of you, you clearly see the energetic movement part of you from the expansive space of stillness.

You may think your are your body, your thoughts, beliefs, experiences. I could say, I’m a mother, a wife, I am hurting, I could list a ton more things- this is all energetic movement, like the scales on the fulcrum!  I want to help you recognize that in reality you are NOT these things you identify with!

I like to call this space the kingdom of the heavens within. When you come to this larger part of you, you create space where you are not moving but your body, your experience and everything else is in movement. This is an internal journey, it has to be experienced.

You must shift your perception to this space. So when you can, take a few moments to get into this space. Sit down, feet flat on the floor, butt on the chair, spine is straight and then just let the belly completely relax. In order for this shift to happen is you must be completely relaxed in order to let go. This is why meditation is so important in a lot of practices to still the thoughts and movements. You have to calm and quiet yourself so that you can shift to this larger part of you.

While you’re sitting and your spine is straight, relax the face and just begin to notice everything that your body is doing or feeling. Notice your heart rate. Notice your breathing. You can even close your eyes and feel inside down to your feet- you’re very much aware of them, all the way up your legs. Become aware of what’s going on inside.

But then, also become aware of the space outside of you- maybe just a little bit off the surface of your skin. Become aware of that space and than make that space larger and larger! Over time as you become more relaxed, bring your awareness further from your body until you get to point you’re becoming aware of everything in the room. Your space, the light, the energy that you are is filling the room and you are aware of it.

You’ll become aware that your thoughts stop- You’re now perceiving from this larger part of you. Practice shifting into this space. When you make this shift from being in the Mind to the openness of the heart, you will see how the mind is limited. Our bodies are limited too. This space, that is my passion to help you find, has no limitations. The more you can sit and quiet yourself, the more you’re going to have to let go of all of your identities- including how you identify with your body!

Not only can you bring your awareness just off where your skin ends, when you close your eyes you can become aware of the space beyond your body- the room, the whole house, below the house, above the house. Spread your awareness out. When you do, you’re perceiving from this larger space and you begin to recognize all of your own identities. You begin to see “oh there’s the part of me that’s pretty reactive to things going on around me or things from my past”. This is where you can identify where you are.

I invite you to find this space of nothing but, you have to let go of any identity you hold on to. That means your body and beyond! It doesn’t mean, however, to ignore the body or don’t do anything for it. It doesn’t mean that at all. In fact your body becomes a sacred temple for your Being.

When you’ve identified with the body,  that means you believe that you are the body and that is WHO YOU ARE. Example- I am this gender, I am this body. Nothing more. However, if you believe that there is a part of you, or that there is something more that animates this material body, then you can make this shift to this larger part of you. See how the body itself has a beginning, is here for a duration of time, with a whole bunch of experience and then will have an end- whenever that may be.

Everything, including your body, really belongs to time! Time is moving, like the outside bands of a hurricane. You are a system just like a hurricane.  You are the movement but that means you are also the energy just the eye of that storm.  The eye is nothing but space yet is the driving power of the storm. The stronger the eye and the more centered and the more focused the eye is, the more powerful the hurricane. You are no different than what Nature shows us! As a Human Being, the Being is where your power is!

We’re so used to being connected to our bodies. It takes practice quieting the breath and relaxing the body. As you get quiet, you will notice the mind and the thoughts are going to try to distract you. It was a struggle with my mind for a period of time; I would be in this space but then it was like being whipped right back into the bands of the hurricane, whipped right back into the energetic movement and I was like “where did it go?! Why has this left me?!”

I discovered I was perceiving from the Human perspective. Yup, I was back in my Human. Within me are a ton of people. There’s someone with an opinion, there’s someone with judgments, somebody with preferences and a story and tons of reactions. I was completely back into the movement of the Human. Bumping into other beings who are also stuck in their Human and are reactive with their own opinions, beliefs and experiences. It’s pretty easy to get knocked out of your center!

I discovered that when you shift back into stillness- because you’re going to come out- take the time to get back to nothing! You CAN! It does take awareness in the beginning.

I want to hear about your stories, even if for just moment you discovered this space. When you discover this space- this is where the miracles happen. This space is your HEALING space!

Start out as a practice and quiet yourself and create some inner space. This vital nutrient  that will bring you guidance and flow. When you perceive from this space and chaos is happening around you, you see opportunities instead of being caught up in the chaos of everything and you can’t see the opportunities for what they are. When you slow yourself down and create a little bit of space- this is where your internal genius comes out; this is when change naturally happens.

This is when you’re going to see your depression and see your thoughts attacking you. You find “oh here’s a thought” and you can look at it, identify it and realize “That’s not me! I’m not giving my attention to it any more.” This is where the magic happens! This is where I want you to be!

Have you ever seen a picture of an iceberg? Where you can see just the top of the iceberg but when you are exposed to what’s underneath, this big giant iceberg connected to the whole ocean- this is like your Being! I want you to connect to the part of you that can’t be seen, it’s under the surface, the deeper part of you! This is where inspiration, inner peace and knowing is! When chaos is happening all around you, time begins to slow down because you’re not allowing yourself to be involved or caught up in the movements- you are only observing. You’re not caught up in the outcome of it, you’re just holding space. This is where power is and where the magic happens. This is where Healing begins!

I do this kind of energy work and meditations with clients 1:1 or in small groups, so if you’re interested in learning more or experiencing this connection to the larger part of you, you can contact me anytime! This is about you FINDING this space- this experience is felt in the heart- heartfelt! It is my passion and universal purpose to help you find this!

Thank you for allowing me to join your journey! I would like to extend a warm invitation for you to join us in The Heartfelt Awakening Village! We have some amazing things happening! We are currently starting an incredible study that has never been done before that quantifies a spiritual awakening process! To find out more come on over or schedule a call with me! Blessings!


Connecting to Your Heart Center

Hello! My name is Deni Van– if you don’t know who I am; I am a spiritual body breath mind coach. I facilitate the spiritual awakening process.

Recently I was able to spend some free time with the members of my community and had some fun with angel and tarot card readings. A card was drawn and it got us discussing the Heart Center or the Heart Chakra.

The Card read “Your angels are reminding you that love is the heart of the matter”. The thing with love is that many of us are a little bit confused with the word love and maybe even a little tainted with the word. So let me explain just a little bit what I mean by love versus what many people think what love is.

There are two loves- just like there are two parts to us! There’s the noun love and the verb love.  We all know, very well I may add, the verb love. It’s conditional love- “based on these conditions I will love you and if you behave in a certain way that I don’t like I will withdrawal my love from you”- this is the verb love. This is where we have conditions where we may be loved today but, that can change at any time.  Most of us know this kind of love all too well.

What most of don’t understand is the noun love- unconditional love. No judgement, no conditions, just pure, unabiding love. “Your heart is the center within your physical being attuned most to love”. Notice we’re not talking about your mind; our minds are attuned to the verb love. Our heart is attuned to the space of love- the noun form of love; unconditional love.

It’s safe for you to love and be loved with an open heart”. How many of us have put a mental block on our hearts because of an experience where we’ve programmed ourselves to shield our hearts from having this kind of experience again? We’ve put this block on our hearts that we can’t be loved- we need to let go of the mind. We’re being reminded to let go- that’s it’s SAFE to let go and allow ourselves to be loved.

The mind is what keeps us in the mindset of “no- I’ll be hurt” because it can’t let go of these past experiences of “love hurt me”. The verb hurt you- someone else’s actions hurt you, not love. Loves hold the space, holds you, guides you and leads you, all from within- in your heart.  In this card our angels are telling us that “it’s safe for you to love and be loved with an open as we stand by with perfect protection and guidance”.

If you’ve been on this journey for a little bit you may know about chakras- if not that alright I can explain just a little bit. Chakras just means wheel and these are energy centers throughout your body. So when we’re talking about heart center we’re not actually talking about the physical heart itself that is off to the left of the chest. The Heart Center is the middle of your chest- the center of our being really.

So, above the heart we have three chakras- the throat, third eye and the crown which connects us to all that is. And then below the heart, we have three lower chakras- the solar plexus, the sacral and the root which connects us to the earth. The Heart is in the center. Whereas the chakras above flow to all that is and the chakras below that ground us- the Heart Center in the middle expands out. There is no limit to the Heart Center.

Think of love as an unlimited expansive space. I will cover this in another blog but, think of it this way- love is like the sky and it hold space for all the clouds to do their thing. The sky isn’t like “Oh I don’t like you clouds get out of here”- no. It just holds the space for whatever is happening without judgement or opinions. This is the unconditional love that your angles are guiding you to.

Now, one big question that came up is “how is it that we can work on our heart center?”

Give up the idea that you need to work. Your Heart Center needs no work 😉 (Love that we go over topics like this in our group Heartfelt Awakening Village!) A lot of times when things like this come up, whether that be current emotions or traumas of our past, we start to become blinded from seeing or moving from our Heart Center. I work with some of my members and clients with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to work on the Heart Center to learn to recognize where we perceive from.

So for example, let’s say anger issues are coming up; we’ll use EFT to tap on and recognize what is happening. Anger clouds the Heart Center, so we’ll tap on the heart and say “Even though I am experiencing this anger and this anger is making my body and my mind react” (really reflecting on what is happening within the mind and body) we’re actually looking at what is happening within the body and not suppressing these feelings and emotions or reactions. Suppression can really limit the Heart Center, causing all of this to just resurface again and again. So by facing this, recognizing and even talking ourselves through these experiences and choosing yes! “Yes! Even though I am experiencing this pain and tension, even though I am experiencing this anger and emotions even though I have been through this trauma or wrong doing- I CHOOSE to STAY in the stillness of my being.” Recognizing this movement and choosing to remove your attention and instead stay in the stillness and safety of your being. This is transcending. This is direct work on the heart center. How powerful!

I would love for you to join us in this! Topics like this come up a lot in our group! Our group is a private, safe and judgement free zone to be able to connect to yourself and if you choose to connect to a community of like-minded spiritual awakening seekers. I would love for you to dig deeper with us at the Heartfelt Awakening Village.

May your day be full of Blessings!